It is a little overwhelming to think that it was one month ago yesterday that my father died. It has caused me to think a great deal about time, how I use it, how precious a commodity it is and how very scarce! Self evaluation is a good thing I suppose but man is it ever a pain. And it seems that I am forever in a state of change.
Part of me loves the idea of an ever changing world with a daily new adventure. But the other part of me would love to have some stability. A stable home, a stable income, a stable boyfriend. Hell I would be satisfied with a stable cat! (Sorry Ben-Kitty but you are a bit of a wild card at times.)
If I have learned any important lessons from my father's departure, it is that whether I like it or not, I finally have to totally and completely take care of myself. At 49, that isn't the easiest habit in the world to learn. And I am way behind where I should be at this age.
But nothing changes if you just sit on your hands, so there's no time like the present. I have always found that any time I make some public announcement about amending my life, I usually fail. SOOOOO, I am going to ask you for your good vibes, karma, thoughts and prayers as I set out on a journey of finding myself and of making myself stable and independent for the very first time.
Not sure how I am going to accomplish it at the moment, but hey, you gotta start somewhere. Wish me luck and I will keep you posted.
By the way, I am going to attempt to throw a weekly dinner party from now on with a rotating guest list. This week's menu features Asparagus salad with Champagne Saffron Vinaigrette, Cream of Cauliflower soup, Maple Roasted Pork loin with orange glazed carrots and rosemary roasted potatoes.
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