There comes a time when one has to release the mantle of being the child or the student and embrace the authority and responsibility of adulthood. For some, that time comes fairly early on. For others, it can take quite awhile. For me, it just came today, on this July morning in my forty-second year.
After a particularly nasty experience this morning (I'll spare you the details), I have finally come to a comfort zone with the word "no."
Now some people will immediately chime in and say that I am being selfish, arrogant, that it's all about me, etc. Well, except for the arrogant part, they'd be right, and it's ok, and I don't care.
Three years ago, thanks to the prodding of my good friend Dr. Stapp, I got off my tenorish ass and set out to make my life in music. It was a long time coming, and there is still a longer stretch of road ahead of me than behind. But I am on the path, and thanks to BPI and people like Max, Penny and of course, the inimitable MME Z, there's a chance of a career ahead.
The nasty episode mentioned above came, serendipitously, just an hour before my therapy session with Dr. Betty. Seemed like a good topic to discuss and so we spent the hour on the subject of being in control of one's own destiny, and that it is perfectly ok to decline a task, job, situation etc. that interferes with that destiny.
So what is all this about? Well, to put it simply, I am saying the same thing that my father used to say to me: Never do anything that you don't enjoy, never agree to something that makes you uncomfortable, and if it comes to it, tell the other guy to go screw himself if he gets in the way of your dreams.
Ole Dad was right. Times rushes forward very quickly, and it waits for no one. Thirty years goes by very fast. If you wait around for someone to give it to you, you won't get it, and if something or someone is blocking the way, cut it down.
That's my discovery for today, and hopefully, I will continue to have the balls to stick up for it.
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