A Serious Topic for All My Younger (and older) Gay Friends

Guys, most of the time you'll see me spout off here in my best imitation of David Sedares. I try to be witty and sarcastic even when I am wanting to get a serious point across. But this next topic is one that can stand no bullshit, so I am going to be direct. I hope many of you read this and take it to heart.

In the past year, I have seen two of my friends, under the age of thirty, die because of their involvement with drugs. I know that the gay life is often synonymous with the party life, and no one likes to stay out all night having a good time more than I do. But let's sit down together here and take long look at why so many in our community see the need to escape into a world of cocaine, methamphetamine, heroin and other illicit substances. Hey, it's bad enough that we drink ourselves silly every other night on Cedar Springs isn't it?

I know it's cool to party. But the consequences of drug use are substantial. They include excessive wear and tear on your heart, a wasting of your facial muscles which makes a 29 year old look 50, permanent brain damage, the possibility of getting yourself or someone else killed in a car accident, or, in the worse case, landing in a copper box before you're thirty. Drug use lowers our inhibitions and it dulls our common sense. Far too many of my gay brothers (and some sisters) are fighting HIV infections because they made stupid choices while under the influence of drugs.

In addition, you risk jail time, an end to your career and the loss of your friends and family.

Let me say here that I am the most liberal person in the world when it comes to altering your state of being. I do not believe that mind altering substances should be illegal, and I believe that our government, with its medieval political mindset is fighting a losing and costly battle in its so-called war on drugs. Having said that, I also believe that it is our individual responsibility to look after our own well being and the best interests of all of us in our community. The excessive and careless use of substances which have no oversight as to their content, safety or dosage is irresponsible behavior, period. It is a risk that could cost you your life.

Our gay community is full to the brim with brilliant, talented, beautiful and gifted men and women. We have so much to offer a world that needs change and good leadership and direction more than it ever has before. We need each and every mind and body to help us win our fair rights as citizens,We need every talented person to continue to create the world's most beautiful art, music, design and architecture. We need the scientific and medical genius that runs like a river through our community. How can we possibly know what we've missed when a life is cut short at twenty-three because of a bad choice with drugs? We will never know what potential might have lain ahead. We will never know, because those people are gone, forever.

Please take a moment to think about what I have had to say here. Think twice before you do that bump or decide to spend the night rolling in the bars. Think about who you are and what you have to give. Think about how much better we all can be if your talent, your gift, your genius is allowed to mature into its full fruition. Think twice before you succumb to unfettered hedonism. Your worth lies in your potential, please don't kill it before it blossoms.

Dos and Don'ts for a Happy Gay Life

I have been thinking recently about some of the little quirks that exist in the gay community that make us look, well, stupid. And I thought I might put together a little list of things that might enhance the experience of being out and gay in the big D. Here we go:

1. Don't brag about living at the Illume. It is a shabbily constructed architectural abortion with beautiful balcony views of parking lots. And face it, if you live there, you are likely to drive a leased luxury car. Between the car payments and the rent, you are not likely to afford furniture on your salary.

2.When creating a profile on a dating or networking site, don't tell us that you want to meet an intelligent person who can hold a conversation if your profile is then filled with grammar errors and misspelled words. Know the difference between dominate, the verb, and dominant, the adjective. Know that your is possessive and you're is the contraction for "you are." Know that their, they're and there are different words with different meanings. Know that apostrophe s shows possession, not plurality. Sheesh. Didn't any of you make it out of third grade?

3. Never piss off the doorman at the Drama Room. He'll grab you by the tits and kick your ass if you cross him.

4. To my young friends: not everyone is 22, an Abercrombie model and hung like a grandfather clock. Branch out a bit. Some off sizes can be loads of fun.

5. To my older friends: If you're into younger guys (and I am), most of them will want your money before your love. Those that claim otherwise probably have some serious issues with their biodads. Remember that boys under twenty-five can't see beyond their next cocktail and not only won't, but can't understand how their disregard for your feelings could really hurt you. If you can live with that, then by all means shop in the kids department. But if you can't, prepare to be hurt and lonely and consider a hunk over thirty.

6. Remember that life is a time line. What you did in the past cannot be changed, what lies in the future is unknown. Be a good Buddhist and live in the present, rejoicing in who you are and what you have to offer. The moment you radiate that confidence in yourself is the moment when that man of your dreams will be attracted to your aura.

7. Most people, if given half a chance, are pretty nice. On the other hand, there are lots of arrogant bitches out there too. Give most people half a chance. Slap the bitches and move on.

Happy Hallowe'en.